K, let uncle tell you one story fas’ kine. So I steh my Filipino friend’s house ah, up da road. Dis was like sevent grade ah & us guys was only scrawny kine nerd keeds back den. We was outside li’ dat playing one mean 21 tip game. If u fakas don’t know what 21 tip is, faka try go learn. Anyways, had my friend and his braddah (two Filipinos ah), our haole friend (I know he was Irish cause he had curly hair and choken freckles), and me. Apparently, had couple girls living on da same road so we see em, eeehh, every couple days or so. You know, say “sup” li’ dat kine jus for be nice. Eh, I never know was illegal for say “hi” to one girl if she had boyfriend ah. Was too late for me now though. One day, dat faka wen find out, came down da road, and was looking for me. He was outside on da main road, “Eh wat, checking out my girlfriend?! Come outside, I lick you right now. I lick you and da haole boy!” Faka neva like mess with da Filipinos friends for some reason haha. Ah, we let ‘em keep talking, we jus steh inside da property & no go out cause guarantee we woulda got licked.

Fast forward couple days latah, we steh riding bike trying for buss ollies on one skateboard. And what you know, dis faka turn the corner on his bike full speed. Braahhh, my heart wen drop. I mean, I know he was only one maybe two years older den us guys, but dat guy was pretty big and ugly. He got up in my face and was like “Eh, you da one talking to my girlfriend ah? You like me give you lickens? ” … “Oh nah, I was just saying ‘Hi’” … “Brah, das not wat I heard.” Faka just kept insisting dat I was trying for make one move, and I was just there fricken sked standing all stiff ready for get lickens. So what I said? “Nah, I no like any problems brah. I give you money. I give you 20 bucks.” Hahahah I no believe I made dat scrub one offer. Eh, he said ok.

And den what I did? Brah, I wen go home and wen ask my fada & mada for money LMFAO. But, I only wen ask em for like 5 dollas at a time cause I neva like dem get all suspicious ah like “Boy, wat you need 20 dollas for?!” I ended up not going my friend’s house for couple days, you know, spread da visits out so dat bully no catch me again ah. But no! Faka wen find me and ask me where da money was. I just told ‘em I still working on ‘em. Yeah, I lied. I neva have no money and I was sked sh1tless. Weeks pass by & I still neva get dat ugly beast one penny. Faka musta forgot cause he neva ask me again after dat. Brahhh, dat was da most dog shxt trouble I got out of. Dat faka should catch cracks still yet, just saying hahaha.